Staph Attack

a poem by Paula Butler
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Gather ‘round and hear this, ye children so fair
For a tale so much older than time.
Listen closely to me , for your health, if you dare-
I’ll try my best to keep tempo and rhyme.

There lives deep inside your inner nasal wall
An evil Staphylococcus aureus.
And, trust me, there’s nothing like it at all
In any dictionary or thesaurus.

It starts out innocently as a child,
Snuggled contentedly inside your schnoz.
But it soon grows restless, mean and wild,
Struggling to escape its resident laws.

It patiently awaits the perfect chance,
A ride that will bring it down south.
A lone finger enters- oh, see the Staph dance!
As it is carried straight into the mouth!

Staph loves the moist, such a Heavenly clime,
He is giddy and brimming with glee.
The finger brings more and more every time,
Our Staph is in good company.

Now, children don’t fear, what I tell you is true
For it happens both near and afar.
What comes next is quite graphic, so listen- please do!
Or you can go wait in the car.

They make their way down to the stomach and such,
Stopping several times on the way.
The lungs, liver, spleen- Oh, this is too much!
But the Staph, how they love to play!

At every pit stop, they leave something behind-
A pathogenic trail of crumbs.
An abscess filled with pus and such kind,
This can’t be cured with no Tums!

They infect every corner, every small nook and cranny,
Causing unpleasantnesses like endocarditis.
You won’t have the strength to get off of your fanny
Once you’re infected with septic arthritis.

But it can do lots more harm, if you don’t take some care-
You can end up with pneumonia or worse.
Just try to fight it, if you bother to dare,
Make every effort to get rid of this curse!

It’s got leukocidin and toxins, artillery galore
To destroy your body’s defense.
Toxic Shock Syndrome will even the score,
So wasting your time? It just doesn’t make sense.

Use all the strength your feeble body can muster,
The Staph just won’t leave you alone.
You simply cannot get rid of that mean grape-like cluster,
But only see every day how it’s grown.

You can use special soap, the antistaphylococcal kind,
And paint yourself white with the cream.
Even with antibiotics, the Staph never mind,
Though with time, they’re not bad as they seemed.

So, now heed my lesson, you know where Staph grows,
Don’t cause me to repeat it.
You know it’s not polite to pick at your nose,
And certainly, don’t ever eat it!